The superman of a husband - sexy voice, project tackler and supporter extraordinaire

So this baby boy has now discovered what I believe is called the pelvic floor. My doc said it's hard to tell how he's positioned in the womb unless you're an expert like she is - especially because even if you think you know where the feet are, they could be tucked underneath him, in front of his face, etc. etc.

However, yesterday, I can tell you how he was positioned - smack in between my hip bones, and I don't mean the ones that poke out a teensy bit at the top of your thighs. I mean down. in. there. very awkward feeling. It wasn't painful at all, but since I don't often feel my internal organs bopping in and around inside my torso, certainly a new experience.

I've decided that the baby responds to Tim's voice. Though he's usually active when I'm first lying down in bed at night, sometimes he'll have stopped moving too much, but as soon as Tim starts talking he's rolling around in there again. Tim has a great voice, but sometimes I wish he'd just be quiet :)

Over the weekend, we had an awesome baby shower back in Massachusetts at my 'rents home church in Uxbridge. I had a great time, and a lot of different people from my past showed up, which was hugely supportive. I hope everyone had a lot of fun - and we received some very much-needed items, from a pack n' play to a changing table pad (thanks Auntie Kara!) to some fun items like penguin booties for the little dude and a Red Sox Fan jersey onesie from Katie Kap.

We've got everything sorted in the living room right now, ready to go to various places - the newly finished furniture, the washing machine, the bathroom/closet (yes I'm serious) for future use.

The reason everything is still in the living room, other than I haven't been home for more than ten minutes late at night before bed, is because our nursery is still....going....

But for good reason. We'll be painting the trim in the room as well to make it nice and fresh, but it's old, peeling paint so Tim is working at scraping and sanding it down to an even layer for slapping on some fresh paint. I can't be anywhere near the area because there's the possibility that one of the two coats of paint is lead-based, as our house is nearly 100 years old, and that's just not safe. So until he finishes his stripping and sanding of that area, not much else will happen. He's been working for hours every evening, which I hugely appreciate!!! Once he's finished though, we'll just have to do a final coat of paint on the trim/walls and then stripe the walls before his dad arrives on Sunday to help us install the new baseboard and chair rail, hurrah!

On a very fun note, I helped my friend, Megan (cupo fisher, cupo fisher, cupo fisher, cupo-) make baby shower invites for my shower here in Pa. last night. it was a) super fun, because i love being crafty but have neither the time or supplies for it usually, and b) productive and with a very CUTE card at the end. I have a photo I'll have to add to this post later.

On the list to do in preparation for baby in the coming days? Breastfeeding class sign-up; childbirth class sign-up; research options for writing a will (software? hire a lawyer? crayon on wall?); and get final approval from my work for my specific maternity leave. I'm 90 percent done with that process, thank goodness.

A Squishy Squash

So February has become a whirlwind that I'm incapable of slowing down! Mostly work or school-related things, but some baby stuff as well!

This weekend we will be heading back to Massachusetts/Rhode Island for a delightful baby shower my mom/sister/church ladies are throwing me up north. It will be SO GOOD to see so many people we haven't had a chance to catch up with in awhile, not to mention spend time with family, and of course, open presents! Very much looking forward to that. I believe Tim is looking forward to a baby-free afternoon with my brother as well :)

This weekend we had a maternity photo shoot. But first, a funny conversation recently with my dad:
D: A what?
H: A maternity photo shoot. Like, photos of me and my belly and me and Tim.
D: Aaaand....are you paying for this??!
H: Yes! But, in my normal style, I found a ridiculous deal with a photographer whose work I absolutely adored and she's bulking up her maternity portfolio, so she gave me two sessions for the price of one session fee, and her session fee is pretty affordable, especially in comparison with some of the big names around here. And her quality of photography is top-notch, so I'm not losing any quality in the price! (takes a breath.)
D: Oh. okay. so....will you eventually get pictures of, you know, your baby?
H: YES. yes. We have a six-month photo session to schedule with her as well.
D: Oh. okay.

Anyway, our photographer, Julie Davis (http://juliedavisphotography.com/) has beautiful techniques with lighting, and she was very open to me suggesting several poses and ideas for the photo shoot. I particularly love fun, textured backgrounds (brick, stone, rustic wood, and snow!) and we did about half of the session outdoors to accommodate that. We also had just a lot of fun with her - she was flexible, but still directed us to move or sit a certain way. We felt like she knew what she was doing but was allowing our personalities to shine through. My favorite part? The kissing photos :) For our engagement photos, our photographer kept saying from yards and yards away, "okay, kiss NOW" and I kept not really hearing him and it was awkward, etc. Julie had a handy little count down option, of 3, 2, 1, and Tim kept making hilarious faces at me so I only kissed him about half the time, and the other half I busted out laughing. Anyway, I've asked if there's ways I can link to or post some samples of our photo shoot online to share, and she was all for that. I should be receiving a preview soon, and options for prints in 2 to 3 weeks.

While we were taking photos, I realized that the vertical line on my belly has started to materialize. Only - this is a bit weird - it's not straight! From my ribcage to my belly button, it curves in an arc to the left, and then straight down from there. Very. weird.

We also finished painting the nursery this weekend...and then realized that although we are old pros at painting, we are NOT pros at joint compounding. So. We decided to layer on another couple of coats of joint compound (making five total) to smooth everything out, which we are in the process of completing now, and then re-painting the one new wall next week. You know, along with scraping down old trim, priming and painting the new ceiling, painting all the trim and chair rail, installing the ceiling light, finishing building a couple of items of furniture, installing a dimmer switch, etc. There are two pieces of good news about this: 1) the hardwood floor has already been refinished, which we did a couple of years ago, and it still looks beautiful, so technically the hardest part of the room was already complete before we started. 2) I LOVE love love love the color of paint. Love. it. It's a pastel orange, bright enough to be a very fun color, pale enough to not be terribly shocking, and with no traces of pink in it (which is what happened when we first moved in and tried for a very similar color, which came out bubble gum pink b/c it was so pastel that the reds came out more than the yellows). I promise I'll post photos, but I think I might wait until the paint is all slapped on, the chair rail is up and the striping is done on the lower half of the wall (something I'm also terribly excited about).

So pregnancy symptoms: still going very well. I've had a couple of extreme instances of heartburn recently, which I literally had to call my mom and ask about because I wasn't sure what exactly was going on. I've got some tums now and I'll be asking my doctor about other possible recommendations as well. The baby's been moving around enough to sometimes wake me up which I'm dozing, though not in the middle of the night (yet). Nothing else much to report, other than feeling sliiiiightly more tired than in the second trimester, but it could just be because my life has become insanely BUSY these past few weeks.

Oh, I also completed all of the paperwork needed for my FMLA leave, my Short Term Disability insurance, and I cleared our healthcare/new baby understanding of insurance with my insurance, Tim's insurance, my doctor's office AND the insurance dept. at the hospital. The only one of those four "expert" places that actually could explain to me the timeline and how insurance for newborns work? The hospital. Though it will still cost us thousands of dollars in deductibles, it shouldn't be a shock or anything more than we thought before, thank goodness. I actually went down to our HR department to explain how the insurance works b/c I'm one of three ladies who are expecting in the next few months, and it seems no one,  not even the insurance companies themselves, understand the rules and steps of the process...of course.

I think that's all that's happened in the world of Baby Dwight this week! My weekly updates say he is the size of a squash. I think someone should tell them that squash comes in a lot of varieties. Are we talking a tiny acorn squash or are we talking a monster-sized yellow squash?

Congratulations Mom - 26 years later

So when I was a child, my mom was very insistent upon us putting away our clothes asap after they arrived, folded, in our room (we usually did the folding downstairs ourselves, and then whomever was near the laundry basket brought them up and distributed).

This was not so hard for me. What was VERY hard was keeping my drawers neat. I've never been able to accomplish this. No matter how often I organize them into cute, folded stacks, rearrange, etc., my drawers always look like someone put them in the drawer by standing across the room and shooting scrunched up handfuls of them in, basketball style. I have a friend who tells me its because the rest of my life is so organized, there has to be something, somewhere to slip up :)

In fact, my mother got so mad at me at least once when I was little for not having neat drawers, that she took everything out of my dresser, threw it on the floor and made me put it all back in. A very handy technique to inspire automatic neatness :)

I am here to tell you mom, that my wild ways have changed - I now have organized drawers!!! Partly because I finally started rotating my seasonal (or in my current case, maternity/non maternity) clothes, partly because we bought some marvelous boxes to use in our closets instead of trying to stack clothes on the top shelves which neither of us can reach.  Thanks to the marvelousness of Ikea, I should say. I've included a photo for proof of my new system. My skivvies drawer is also organized, but I figured I didn't want to make that permanent record on the inter-webs for my kids to find in 47 years :)

I'm feeling like our house is really, truly organized. We have so little storage space, it's not like I really had that much work cut out for me - but all three of our closets are good to go, our spare dresser in our guest room has two drawers cleared, I've donated old clothes to goodwill, our basement received a thorough (and shocking) clean out back in October, and I finally spent the ten bucks to buy a spice rack and get our large quantity of spices out of the back of the pantry next to the iron pans.

Next, and probably near the end of the organization list (until the baby items start arriving en-masse) is adding an extra shelf to our one kitchen cabinet at floor level. I also need a handy place to store my chemical cleaning stuff for the bathrooms - currently just sitting next to one of our toilets...not a good idea, I know. I'm thinking a bucket at the top of one of our closets might do the trick. We have no storage space in our bathroom and our linen closet is beautifully organized, but packed to the gills with only floor-level space left, also not so safe.

We were originally planning on painting our babe's room this past weekend, but we realized two things: it takes more joint compound than you think it does to joint a wall, a ceiling, and all corners of said ceiling and wall, and b) even if you have enough joint compound, you can't expect it to dry when it's only 42 degrees in that room all day, every day. The compound instructions said it dries within 24 hours --- at a temp of 75 degrees. Woops! So we'll be taking some time this week to do even MORE joint compounding, sanding, sponging, priming, and, eventually, painting. We'll be putting up some chair rail when Tim's dad visits in a few weeks - though that begs the question, with our very old house: do we level the chair rail with the uneven floor, the uneven ceiling, or actually level it around the room? I don't know.

While we waited for joint compound to dry, we instead put together our Ikea furniture, so when the room is done we'll hoof it on in there! These are stock photos, but they look as good as the real thing! Crib not put together yet, but that takes up the most space, so that'll be after we finish painting the room, probably. Oh, and I should clarify. By "we put together" I mean that Tim put together while I read him entertaining things from SuperFreakonomics, the Caveman's Guide to Baby's First Year, and Bill Bryson's The Mother Tongue. All entertaining in different ways.

You probably want to hear something about the baby, not just how I've endlessly been preparing for him. He's started to move around a LOT. I'm supposed to start fetal kick count monitoring this week, but I haven't yet, and I was thinking, crap, I don't know if he really moves 10 times every hour - partly because I don't notice very much when he does, and because before it went in spurts - his sleep cycles, as it were. Not so much now. He's probably still sleeping, but not so motionless. I'm sure he'd hit that 10 every hour number. There's one spot at the top right of my belly that he kicks the most, and sometimes I poke him back. Encouraging turn the other cheek retaliation early in life, you see :)

And last but not least, we think we've settled on a name. No, we won't be sharing it, but we're feeling pretty confident about it. No, it's not Grover. Or Wilmer. It might be Jasper.

I know this is getting long, but I thought I'd add one more thing which I somehow forgot to mention yet - we found a pediatrician's office that I am in love with! It's about a quarter of a mile from my OB/GYN, which is a mile from where I work, both of which are 15 minutes max from our house. They came recommended by my midwife, but no one I know actually goes there, so I was a little unsure. They have all of the things I was looking for though - small practice, PAs or NPs as well as physicians, at least one male doctor (there's two), very, very open and personable - won't think of me as the "uninformed and/or anxious mom" but rather as a partner in care for our little one, strict on vaccinations, and, oh yes, a super-fun waiting area. Their hours flex into the evenings and on weekends, which works out for us quite well. Also, the PA I met with's name is Joaquin. I think that's how you spell it, anyway!

...and then the doctor laughed at me

Many baby updates this week:

Firstly, a more full picture of our insulation story. When I posted last week about our insulation arrival, it was because I was anticipating one of the guys that Tim works with picking up the insulation that day.

Sadly, this did not happen. So that night, I told Tim we were going to Lowes to buy insulation -- I wasn't waiting any more! We made the first of what will probably be many visits to the marvelous store, and fond all the insulation we needed for: $19. Yep. Four months of waiting on a project that would give us some free insulation, and all we needed to spend was less than $20.

That said, we spent (well, okay, my participation has been minimal)the past few nights getting the insulation up, the wall up, and the mud on the walls. Tonight will be mudding the ceiling, already up for some months, and beginning to sand the wall. It's going quite well, though slowly, for that is what drywalling is. (In a funny side-note, Tim planned on spending Wednesday night shoveling snow instead of putting up the insulation, which I promptly stopped from happening by saying that I would shovel).

We've done a few other things as well - on Saturday, we spent our first day ever visiting Ikea in Baltimore with friends, which was a blast. We picked up a wardrobe for baby, who doesn't get to use one of the three closets in our entire house, and a changing table/cabinet for him as well as a few other staples like a rug for the floor, a couple of storage boxes and, to Tim's never-ending delight, a "tiny chair." Which is party of Tim's brilliant idea to furnish the room entirely with "tiny things," clearly not a great option, but one that he is in love with. Said chair can't be used until the poor kid is about two, and is not terribly kid-safe in the first place (easily tips over, etc.) but Tim was determined, to say the least.

As an inspiration of organizing storage spaces, we rearranged our only closet for all things not clothing-related, which is now in much better shape. I've also decided to get rid of my lingerie chest, which mainly helps me cycle my seasonal clothes in one place rather than storing summer/winter every year. Mainly doing this to save furniture space in our already over-crowded bedroom and make way for a small baby bed to use for the first few weeks of the little guy's life.

We've also decided to post pone our Pa. baby shower until later in March, as the invites were sent out really too late for many people to be able to come. The one in Mass is still on for Feb. 19 though, should be fun!

I was going to post on here about my doctor's appointment last week - my doctor actually laughed at me. I put on 7 pounds in the last month, which is both above the norm for me and the suggested average per month weight gain for pregnancy of 1 pound/week. It's true, I've been craving sugar like nobodys business, and have very little will power to stop myself from eating things that aren't good for me. I still have healthy meals and go to the gym regularly, but apparently the sugar outweigh those other actions :) My doctor sat down and started laughing at me - she was pretty surprised. She did say she can't tell where I'm putting it, which is always good to hear, but I need to lay off the sweet snacks! Which is hard to do in cadbury egg season, so I'm stockpiling eggs for now (my favorite candy ever, btw).

In good news though, I passed my sugar processing test (go figure, my body gets enough of it) so I don't have to have my arms stuck four times to see if I might be a candidate for gestational diabetes, thank goodness. My doc has also been sharing with me a few baby tips - we discussed feedings at my last visit. I've read from many sources (I over-research everything) mindsets of having your kid eat every three hours, regardless of what's going on (there's a name for this, I forget what though), for feeding your baby completely on demand, whether thats every 30 minutes or not until four hours have passed if they've been sleeping, and many beliefs in between. We talked about not waking the little one up at night to eat - if he's asleep when it's dark out, I need to entrench that habit, not mix him up - and then at least every three hours during the day, even if he's sleeping. Also - no more than every two hours, otherwise my body will become an all-hours-of-the-day buffet to the little tyke ;). all these things to remember!!

My doc also made a comment that our kid is pretty large - not so good for labor pains, joy. I know the guessing of baby sizes is certainly not an acute science, but she said my uterus is measuring two inches above my belly button, even though it's also being stretched down into my pelvis - which means baby is big enough to fill all of that space! I haven't caught up the past couple of weeks with my pregnancy week by week book, but I'm sure the boy is putting on weight!

Insulation Station

The insulation….has arrived….

This is one of the biggest events of my pregnancy  After waiting for four months, we finally received the stupid $40 worth of insulation to finish putting up the wall in our nursery. To be done before the weekend: put up drywall, tape drywall, sand down all putty on drywall. To be done on Sunday, barring negative temperatures outside: paint entire room.

Then all we shall have left is the chair rail and the base board painting/installation. It’s really ridiculously exciting!!

In other baby news, the little munchkin has started kicking a lot harder. Or my ab muscles are slowly deteriorating. Before it was just flutters – it feels like a twitching muscle to me. Now its actual jabs. Not hard enough to be painful or uncomfortable, but enough to make me actually notice. As the baby books say, this often happens for several minutes at a time – apparently our child is throwing himself dance parties in the womb. He particularly loved the music on the cruise that we heard in the theatre or out on deck. (I can’t remember if I posted that before or not).

Something I’ve been working hard on the past few months is my calcium intake. It’s more complicated than you would think to get your daily amount…in a household that is mostly dairy-free. I’ve had to adopt some regular intervals throughout the day to have some sort of dairy product. Thus far, I’ve been having: one cup of no-sugar-added hot chocolate, with water = 30% of my daily calcium. One prenatal vitamin = 15% of my daily need. On helping of yogurt (6 oz.) = 20% of daily need. Variable additions may include up to three cheese sticks, each 20% of the daily needed; one glass of soy milk with ovaltine, 40% of my need (b/c of the soy milk instead of regular); one glass of calcium-enriched OJ, 20% of my daily value. Some of our pastas contain calcium, and I sometimes get a brick of extra sharp cheddar cheese and have a few pieces. Tim’s solution to the calcium was to eat a bowl full of bland bran cereal every day. A) I hate bran cereal, it’s gross. And b) I like to either have hot breakfasts or my staple of yogurt and granola. On the weekends we usually eat Special K with Kashi, but no bran for me. Yuck.

I’ve also noticed that I’m just starting to feel like I’m carrying extra weight around. I think at this point I must be close to 20 pounds heavier than before I was pregnant (no chubby face yet, thank goodness). I don’t have any swelling anywhere yet, and other than my tummy getting in the way sometimes when I’m doing the dishes or reaching for something up high, I haven’t noticed it too much. But a couple of times today, walking up the stairs or moving quickly, I’ve consciously felt the extra weight in front of me. It’s not hurting my back or making me feel like I’m going ot fall at all, but before today, I honestly can’t say that I ever felt like I had any extra weight at all, except for maybe when I was rolling over while sleeping.

Where's your baby??!!

So we’ve been baby-mooning – depending on how you define the terminology.

We spent a week on a cruise out of Fort Lauderdale, to St. Thomas, St. Maarten and Nassau.

Lost: one credit card, one sock, two quarters, one pair of sunglasses, some dignity.

Gained: an entire week without responsibilities. We ate breakfast on our (free!) balcony every morning, attended very well done theater shows, read quietly in the shade, were served three-course meals for lunch and dinner, ate freshly-made Gelato, watched football games on a monster LED screen, went to one of the top ten beaches in the world, bought some rum for $8 at a K-Mart and generally kicked back and relaxed.

Highlights include a two+ mile walk, resulting in climbing 99 steps to visit Blackbeard’s castle….which was closed for the day; walking through an old cloister and gardens in the Bahamas; walking on the treadmill in the ship’s gym at the very front of the vessel (which made us feel like we were powering the boat); Reading two entire books each and working through others; making up identities for some of the dinner guests that sat around us nightly (particularly one older couple with some very expensive clothing and jewelry). I forget how very relaxing it is to just hear the sound of the ocean all the time – we’d sit in our room with the balcony door open and it was marvelous.

In pregnancy updates, I have a couple.

Two baby showers have been scheduled (that I know about – one of my jobs has been threatening a surprise party of some sort). The first is a Super Bowl Party on Sunday, Feb. 6 in Pa. if you’ll be around that day, you should come and hang out, have some wings and watch some football.

The second will be held in Mass on Feb. 19 – I’m assuming more traditional of a shower, though I have no idea what that really means. Pretty much this is an open invitation to anyone reading this who would like to come to either. And a shameless shout-out for gifts from our Registry at Babys R Us . Just let me know if you plan to make it to one and I’ll get you location and directions, etc.

I’ve started wearing some “baggy” clothes. Most of my clothes that I’ve gotten are very nice, but some of the long-sleeved tees that I wear when I’m not at work are pretty large. Yesterday at the gym I wore one such long-sleeved shirt, and I felt very big in it. I don’t want to stretch out my non-maternity shirts too much.

I must not be that big though – yesterday Tim and I were touring a daycare and standing in the infant room while the director spoke briefly with a parent. A little girl, about 4 years old, came and peered into the infant room, looked around, looked up at me, and said, “where’s your baby??!” I told her he is still in my belly, and she nodded sagely. And then started discussing how we had very similar coats. Which we did 

Other news maternity-wise is that my leave will not be nearly as long as I had been led to believe. My full time position has a “bank” where you can save up unused vacation days and “bank” them for future use on leaves of absences. However, the banked days (of which I now have 34) can only be used during government/insurance/healthcare provider approved “medical leave” and for the birth of a child, that is a maximum of 6 weeks – which can only be paid at a percentage of my current salary and which I cannot even utilize my banked days for anyway b/c I’m required to instead utilize short term disability. Hmmm. Was hoping for 12-15 weeks… I have enough vacation time for 8 weeks total, and I might be able to get maybe a week or two of 20 hours/week to transition back a little more slowly. And don’t worry, I understand FMLA and that I cannot be denied those 12 weeks of leave if I so choose, however, FMLA is unpaid leave, something Tim and I are not in a position to tackle in our lives right now. Hence all of the preparatory banking of vacation days. Ah well. I shall refrain from my usual pessimistic statement “story of my life,” referring to the continual rugs that are pulled out from under me for no reason every few months or so. I’ll just enjoy the time I have and pray to God I live through it.

...that annoying girl soccer player...

1. Tim felt the baby kick earlier in the week. I think he pro ably could have up to a couple of weeks ago, but I don't feel him move too often when I'm at home (which is almost never). We were falling asleep, and TMI, Tim and I fall asleep and wake up very, very cuddly, and his knee was resting right against my belly and our kid started poking the knee :)and then Tim put his hand on my tummy to feel more, an fell asleep like that, and then Dwight kicking woke him up and Tim got grumpy and rolled back over!

2. I have started experiencing heart burn. This is a very weird thing for me - I have what I like to call the stomach of steel. I'll eat almost anything regardless of the spice level, and if anything doesn't sit right I only feel a little gross for maybe an hour total. apparently this kid is now encroaching on my stomach.

3. I posted a couple of weeks ago that because of the lack of free insulation coming our way in recent months, we decided to finish up the bathroom instead. Tim installed a beautiful new faucet and spent two entire days cutting all of the trim pieces just right (I counted last night, I think there are 11 corners in our tiny bathroom). We'll be painting the trim soon, and then Tim's dad will help us install it all nice and pretty in February, hurrah! On the insulation front, the township that was holding up the project at Tim's job finally got their butts in gear and we should have the insulation soon, THANK GOODNESS. We really only have a couple of day's worth of work to do on the nursery, it's just been forestalled for.....threee....entire....months.....after pulling down the ceiling, studding out a wall and covering everything in sawdust.....People have started giving me baby stuff, but i have nowhere to put it!!!

4. We are heading to the Caribbean for a few days shortly. After two years of working 60+ hours each week with only a handful of long weekends, I certainly need the break, and we pretty much got the best deal in the history of cruises to go :) Good things about that so far include that they assigned us a cabin with a balcony, and we (as per usual) paid for the very cheapest room on the boat, likely right next to the engines. People find it entertaining that I'd prefer to be in the pitch black with good water pressure than a room with a window, but it's true. I also believe, unless things change, that we'll be on deck three, right at the top, same deck as the buffet restaurant! anything that gets us to the food quicker is a good thing in my book! We'll see how the rest goes. We're supposed to have a private table for two and the ship is European, so no greasy and dull American food, but cuisine of taste and flavor. Plus a 10 p.m. pizza bar. And a shout-out to Matt and Kara for the marvelous birthday present (cruise bucks). It will probably take me days to figure out what to use it for :)

5. I'm almost through the book "Happiest Baby on the Block" which is a crazy best-seller and there is much hype about it. I do not have much faith in fads, so I read these things with a grain of salt. Though I think the premise, or, whole first half of the book (the philosophical parts) are a bit shaky, the advice to calm a colicky baby certainly seems spot-on - including swaddling well, trying different positions of holding baby other than on his back, white noise like baby is used to from the womb (apparently, the white noise, or swishing sounds, babies hear constantly in utero is louder than a vacuum cleaner. who knew??!), and I haven't read the sucking reflex and I forget the fifth method. anyway. could be very, very useful information, particularly if baby is not a good sleeper and/or is somewhat irritable. Since I'm never irritable, I can't imagine that happening ;)

6. Tim's got some baby books as well, particularly one about cavemen? We took a parenting quiz and got like 80 percent (it was random facts, like how often newborns need their diapers changed, etc.)

The end of the list. until next time....

P.S. Kudos to anyone who got the title reference!